Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
