Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
