I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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