They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
