its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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