Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize