U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
