God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Fine. I'll sleep in my office
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
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She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
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Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
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