If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize