He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
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