I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
