Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
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