yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
God, I missed his penis.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
