my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
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