He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
