Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Randomize
