I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
