So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
