it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
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