you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
