hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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