Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Randomize
