we have pet lesbian snakes
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
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