dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
