yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
