Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Randomize