A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
there is puke in my bra ... again
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