Screwed.edu
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
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