We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
