You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize