I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
