he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Betty ford says i'm here all night
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
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