I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
