she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize
