week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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