Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
