I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
