so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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