Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
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