Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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