My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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