She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
