What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
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