So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Randomize
