is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
