I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
