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So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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