Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
