We're like a lot better than the average bears
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
