her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
