I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
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