It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
She's the barista slut.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Randomize
