david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Randomize
