Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Randomize
