she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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