My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
We left the knife in your bed.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
