I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Randomize