i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
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