my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize
