Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
