just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
She announced her abortion via fbk
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Randomize
