if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
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