On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
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