Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.