Texts From Last Night

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  (513): View more from Ohio

  The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?

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  (513): The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU? http://tfl.nu/gpmz
  Replies (8) Good night (589) Bad night (3349)
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  (901): View more from Tennessee

  She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.

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  (901): She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A. http://tfl.nu/01sf
  Replies (43) Good night (1880) Bad night (5750)
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  (504): View more from Louisiana

  standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.

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  (504): standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules. http://tfl.nu/xkjo
  Replies (46) Good night (4516) Bad night (686)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.

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  (519): I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle. http://tfl.nu/aifz
  Replies (11) Good night (3820) Bad night (2081)
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  (802): View more from Vermont

  just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!

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  (802): just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke! http://tfl.nu/q0f1
  Replies (39) Good night (7099) Bad night (2025)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.

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  (443): we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out. http://tfl.nu/gq5i
  Replies (9) Good night (2518) Bad night (819)
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  (812): View more from Indiana

  This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock

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  (812): This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock http://tfl.nu/gdx6
  Replies (17) Good night (952) Bad night (5025)
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  (518): View more from New York

  I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.

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  (518): I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them. http://tfl.nu/sunc
  Replies (5) Good night (2546) Bad night (625)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.

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  (570): God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today. http://tfl.nu/74x0
  Replies (5) Good night (1147) Bad night (620)
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  (702): View more from Nevada

  Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?

  (702): View more from Nevada

  Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way

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  (702): Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from? (702): Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way http://tfl.nu/vsyq
  Replies (4) Good night (1720) Bad night (554)
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  (256): View more from Alabama

  Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.

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  (256): Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive. http://tfl.nu/eyz9
  Replies (8) Good night (913) Bad night (572)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.

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  (917): She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl. http://tfl.nu/btqg
  Replies (1) Good night (1379) Bad night (823)
• Favorite

  (708): View more from Illinois

  Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid

  (1-708): View more from Illinois

  I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.

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  (708): Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid (1-708): I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for. http://tfl.nu/mlt7
  Replies (1) Good night (544) Bad night (285)
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  (270): View more from Kentucky

  My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.

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  (270): My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is. http://tfl.nu/aqiv
  Replies (0) Good night (451) Bad night (149)
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  (269): View more from Michigan

  I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.

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  (269): I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you. http://tfl.nu/fc9a
  Replies (3) Good night (400) Bad night (142)

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