Texts From Last Night

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  (410): View more from Maryland

  the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.

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  (410): the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina. http://tfl.nu/o3ng
  Replies (13) Good night (2527) Bad night (525)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??

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  (847): hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score?? http://tfl.nu/pp8r
  Replies (146) Good night (1032) Bad night (5016)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes

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  (860): all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes http://tfl.nu/55qw
  Replies (22) Good night (2261) Bad night (4411)
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  (352): View more from Florida

  My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.

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  (352): My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone. http://tfl.nu/x5d3
  Replies (12) Good night (1267) Bad night (4523)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.

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  (215): i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo. http://tfl.nu/xre9
  Replies (8) Good night (1464) Bad night (528)
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  (226): View more from Ontario

  Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?

  (226): View more from Ontario

  Don't answer that. It is bad.

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  (226): Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice? (226): Don't answer that. It is bad. http://tfl.nu/e65p
  Replies (5) Good night (1236) Bad night (807)
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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.

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  (608): I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week. http://tfl.nu/5pj6
  Replies (9) Good night (1912) Bad night (616)
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  (916): View more from California

  Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable

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  (916): Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable http://tfl.nu/5q9j
  Replies (5) Good night (776) Bad night (1155)
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility

  (910): View more from North Carolina

  well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...

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  (816): I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility (910): well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is... http://tfl.nu/9yjx
  Replies (5) Good night (1676) Bad night (675)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool

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  (404): That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool http://tfl.nu/ivmu
  Replies (6) Good night (449) Bad night (1007)
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  (251): View more from Alabama

  We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.

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  (251): We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies. http://tfl.nu/6jxt
  Replies (5) Good night (1272) Bad night (422)
• Favorite

  (636): View more from Missouri

  2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?

  (314): View more from Missouri

  Please tell me those aren't related.

  (636): View more from Missouri

  I made rice.

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  (636): 2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap? (314): Please tell me those aren't related. (636): I made rice. http://tfl.nu/b642
  Replies (2) Good night (431) Bad night (1055)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel

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  (603): I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel http://tfl.nu/5thv
  Replies (5) Good night (625) Bad night (258)
• Favorite

  (423): View more from Tennessee

  Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...

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  (423): Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple... http://tfl.nu/apqw
  Replies (2) Good night (615) Bad night (305)
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.

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  (512): He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming. http://tfl.nu/1x16
  Replies (1) Good night (913) Bad night (251)

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